People

When i first left home, i thought that i would be learning more about the world, living in the world and how to be independent.

But that's not really what i learnt that much. Sure, i learnt some stuff...but what i really learnt about was people.

People are all different. People have different agendas and goals in life.

People hide things. Some are absorbed in themselves, some wish they were someone they are not and most are both.

Most of the time that people talk, they talk about themselves. About how they feel, about their experiences...just about them. Most of what people think is what they should be doing, what they should say, what some other person did to them, how they can get some people to like them, how to improve themselves etc.

In short, people tend to be so self-absorbed. The worse part is that most of us don't even realise how selfish and egoistic we are until we actually listen to the way we think.

I know for one that i'm only coming to realise how selfish i really am. The worse part is that a lot of the time, i hide my selfishness behind a facade that seems incredibly selfless.

I'm doing this and this...for God. But really, it's just so i'll look better.

God, i'm a good christian and i pray that you will do as i ask - but of course, your will be done. When things don't turn out as wanted. God, do you not love me? Why didn't you answer my prayers? It's so hard to trust you now.

Imagine. To lose trust in God because He didn't do what WE WANTED. It's just like me going to my bro and asking him to toast me some bread. But he knows that the bread has gone mouldy and tells me he can't do it, but will make me scrambled eggs instead. Then i get mad that he won't give me toast and i keep insisting it. He refuses and offers toast, which is obviously not only tastier, better but is better for me.

And what is my response? I get mad at him. And then i say i don't trust him.

I know it's not exactly the same thing, but see how ridiculous that is? and that's like us not trusting God coz He didn't do what WE want. How stupid and selfish is that?

People go through their highs and lows. People live each day...wanting to do things...wanting things to get better...wanting some things to change...

People hurt. people cry. people...

When you get close to someone, all their pain and hurt transfers straight to you. Even when they don't tell you what's wrong, you still pain over it. You want to help out but sometimes...you can't really do anything about it.

People are just so intricate and unique. Fragile in so many ways.